When in Hell, be sure to meet new people
Today more than ever we are hearing that you’re going to hell for being a sinner, and if like me you relish sinning then you already know! First of all I should tell you I don’t believe in heaven or hell, so the threat of eternal damnation really doesn’t work on me, but unlike some religious groups would have you believe I do not go out and murder children and eat their remains while I masturbate into the child’s skull.
But say I did believe the heaven and hell propaganda, what are my choices. Well first is the obvious one, lead a good life, conform, follow the rules and spend eternity in heaven with god and his lot. Sounds ok, but wait a minute, what about all those Christian lunatics who go around cursing everyone who doesn’t live their life as if they were living in Salem in the 1700’s. Are they going to be there? Well if they are count me out!!
Second choice, Hell, well at first the ideas of going to hell is terrifying, all that torture and nashing of teeth, no thanks. But then chances are I will know more people in hell than I would in heaven, and no doubt there would be more people in hell who I could get along with.
So which do I choose, eternity in heaven, avoiding contact with anybody else, or eternity in hell with the suffering, but being able to talk to like minded people?
Tough choice
Guess I’ll decide on my death bed!
Today more than ever we are hearing that you’re going to hell for being a sinner, and if like me you relish sinning then you already know! First of all I should tell you I don’t believe in heaven or hell, so the threat of eternal damnation really doesn’t work on me, but unlike some religious groups would have you believe I do not go out and murder children and eat their remains while I masturbate into the child’s skull.
But say I did believe the heaven and hell propaganda, what are my choices. Well first is the obvious one, lead a good life, conform, follow the rules and spend eternity in heaven with god and his lot. Sounds ok, but wait a minute, what about all those Christian lunatics who go around cursing everyone who doesn’t live their life as if they were living in Salem in the 1700’s. Are they going to be there? Well if they are count me out!!
Second choice, Hell, well at first the ideas of going to hell is terrifying, all that torture and nashing of teeth, no thanks. But then chances are I will know more people in hell than I would in heaven, and no doubt there would be more people in hell who I could get along with.
So which do I choose, eternity in heaven, avoiding contact with anybody else, or eternity in hell with the suffering, but being able to talk to like minded people?
Tough choice
Guess I’ll decide on my death bed!
posted by Sinisterbumblebee at 1:38 PM
2 Comments:
I always imagine that Heaven would be a boring place. Being forced into love and adoration of the eternal dictator.
I bet Hell is more fun and Satan more lax. Probably some good bondage/sadist stuff going on.
Slug Sex!!!!
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